While we were there we made a pit stop to the doll hospital. Sally-O, our well-loved, much played with Bitty Baby was in dire need of servicing. As I mentioned in a February post (complete with a photo), Bitty Baby’s right eye often stayed closed. Her hair was a wreck. Her right cheek had a pen stain. She looked like a doll that had been hugged a lot.

The woman behind the counter was very nice. She did a checkup. Everything was fixable, she told us. She checked her price list and gave me the damage for the damage. It would cost x price for a new eye and a quick cleanup, which would do nothing for the ink stain or the cut hair. (Although the hair would be brushed and made pretty again.) For an extra $5 they would give Sally-O a brand new head. It would be like getting a new doll.

I went back and forth about it until I decided that yes, I’d go for it. I’d change out the head. Little Girl helped me take off all Sally-O’s clothing and put her into a hospital gown. Then we handed her over to the “doctor” who told us Sally-O would come home in about two to four weeks via U.S. Postal Service complete with a new head, a hospital gown, and a cap. Little Girl was understandably upset when we told her the doll would be staying behind. At first she told us no, but we finally convinced her, although she did ask to give her sister’s doll another hug. (We had to pry it out of her arms after the hug…) She stopped crying when the nice woman at the counter assured us that she would take good care of the doll.

The bargain hunter inside of me loved what we did. A brand new doll for half the price of a new one? Plus, we were recycling? How awesome is that? Except…the mom in me was dying inside. Sally-O has been such an integral part of our life. Big Girl has taken her everywhere since she we got her almost four years ago. Sally-O has been to playdates and parties and to Disney World. She’s been to Woodloch Pines at New Year’s. She’s been on long car trips, and to both of her “great” grandmas’ homes. She’s sat with us at dinner, and slept with Big Girl at night. She’s been a part of the family. And now she’s gone forever. As much as it’s true that the Sally-O that’s coming back to us in the mail will look the same, she will be a new doll. All the reminders — yes, even the cut hair and the stain left by the drive-by magic marker attack — will be gone. I wonder if I did the right thing.

I have a Free Moving Barbie doll. She looks a lot like Sally-O did. Her hair is trashed — knotted and gross, to be honest. She’s got some marker on her feet. One of her arms is a little loose. And yet I am so happy I have her, a reminder of the marathon Barbie sessions I had with my sister. We’d set up my brother’s train table as our Barbie world. A shoebox was a TV stand. We had a plastic pool, the Barbie van, an outdoor camping set. We spent hours and hours in that basement, and looking at that Barbie brings it all back for me. Have I, by freshening up Sally-O, taken away a piece of Big Girl’s childhood? Will she regret the loss of her constant companion? Was I simply too cheap to buy the little one her own Bitty Baby Doll? I’m not 100 percent sure, but I think I’m going to make a phone call this morning. Who needs a new head when a new eye that opens and closes might suffice?

What was your favorite childhood toy? Do you still have it? Would love to hear about it.

One of the things my father-in-law bought for Little Girl introduced me to a relatively old concept from Amazon.com: Amazon Frustration-Free™ Packaging. Not only did I love the idea, but in use, it’s pretty great.

Here’s the deal: Amazon works with manufacturers to create the same version of products that they sell in the stores, with one significant difference: It comes in as little packaging as possible. So, for example, in the case of the Fisher-Price Little Superstar Jammin’ Band Musical Microphone, it came to us in a plain brown box. We opened it up and it was all in there — no twist ties, no plastic packaging, no excess cardboard. Easy to assemble, very little waste, and no plastic aside from the plastic the toy was made of.

And it goes past just reducing packaging. Amazon is actually working to take this idea one step further and get manufacturers to think about packaging as not just making less waste, but making that waste more useful. Here’s what Amazon recently posted on its Green Scene blog, written by JoAnn Hines, (@packagingdiva): “…less packaging or a different packaging material is not the answer. We need to look at packaging holistically that is from the raw materials used through the manufacturing process to the ultimate disposal. Think about how packaging can be integrated into the entire big picture. What most consumers don’t understand is that we can’t have products without packaging and what manufactures and CPG’s don’t understand is that consumers want to see lees of it. There in lies the problem, miscommunication!”

Wow, a big company working with even bigger companies to help the environment? That’s impressive. So is Amazon’s green blog, which features posts from some of the best eco and green companies and writers out there. As for the toys: I’m sold, of course. From now on if I need to purchase a new toy — whenever possible — I am going to choose the Frustration-Free Amazon option. I can always off-set carbon created by delivery. I can’t un-create the waste created by more traditional packaging.

What was your biggest packaging nightmare this holiday season? Your least? Would you shop specifically based on packaging? I’d love to hear about it.

Little Girl is going to love getting this on December 25th.

I’m posting this late today. My kids slept until 9:10 a.m. We were woken up by my friend Lori. Every year she wakes up at 3:30 a.m. to go brave the Black Friday sales. I texted her last night, asking if she could pick up something from Kohl’s for me. A Barbie cruise ship that was selling for $29.99 down from $80. And so she was calling at 9 to report in on her buys, and to break bad news. By the time she made it to the toy department (at 4:20 a.m.), all the allotted cruise ships had sailed. They were all gone, she said. “Everyone had them in their carts. It was crazy,” she explained.

I don’t feel so bad, though. This year, especially, when so many people are hurting, I don’t want to go too crazy with my kids. They have so much, and Little Girl, especially, is too young to care. Chris, my husband, said we should wrap up some of the old toys we have put away from Big Girl. Little Girl wouldn’t know the difference. I also feel, as someone who is out here on a daily basis talking about reducing carbon footprints, and saving the planet that I should be buying more environmentally-friendly gifts. Avoiding plastic and things with excessive packaging. So while most of you are already all shopped out for the day, here are some good sites to find eco-conscious kids’ toys and gifts.

• This, That, Other Things Want to know what I am buying from this site? Organic play-doh. Little Girl loves using all the tools and molds we have, but I am always given a pause when I see the bright colors and slightly chemical-y smell of traditional molding dough. This stuff isn’t as bright as the day-glo colors kids might be used to, but I have a feeling the smell will make up for it. LOVE smelly dough! (It’s out of stock right now, but I will keep checking in on it. And yes, I know I can make my own, but I want something that looks professional under the Christmas tree.) See something you like? The company just sent me some coupon codes! BLACK15 for 15% off purchases over $50 and BLACK 20 for 20% off purchases over $150!
• Franklin Goose. I love when I find a true gem while Web browsing. This site, which pledges to stock  products that are “natural, organic, or made of recycled materials. Paint will be lead free. We will carry no electronic or synthetic toys,” is a breath of fresh air. Plus, it’s got a huge selection! Furniture, diapers, feeding items, clothing, bath & potty, books and DVDs. I was instantly impressed. And now I’m about to go buy a few natural training pants, soy crayon rocks, and the Plan musical band.
• Amazon.com I stumbled upon this list of more than 1,100 organic and natural toys. I figured the folks at Amazon are not dummies. If the rest of the world is selling environmentally-friendly items, why shouldn’t one of the biggest online retailers? I loved that I could search by age, price, or interest. The Idbid organic stuffed raindrop looks so cute! I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that the company is less wasteful this year than it has been in years past. (Tiny game in huge box ring any bells?)
• Fat Brain Toys. Even before I was an organic convert, I loved this site. They have toys that are more educational. That let kids use their imaginations. So I was really happy when I saw the company had added a Green category to its site.
• Your Local Shop. Of course, the best way to buy something is locally. Less packing materials, fewer cars, trains, and planes delivering it. More support of local vendors. That’s why I love the Breaking the Chains Buying Guide assembled by the Organic Consumers Association. Enter your Zip code, and find local merchants for all your gift-buying needs.

Know a site I’ve missed? Please let me know. And happy shopping! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Check back over the weekend when I’ll be updating my Crunchy and Green section (look at the tabs at the top of the page) with all the green and eco-related news of the week.

Multiple toys = fewer fights.

As a playdate addict — and survivor — I’ve seen everything and anything that could go wrong at a playdate. From kids who hit to broken toys to crushed Veggie Booty on the floor, I’ve been there, done that. I’ve also amassed a little bit of knowledge when it comes to throwing or participating in a successful playdate. Here are the lessons I’ve learned over the years.

• Make it about them. Yes, it’s great to socialize with your favorite mommies, but eventually your child is going to show a preference for certain kids. Some personalities just mesh better, too. You might love one mom, but her kid drives your kid nuts. As much as it pains you to do it, those are the playdates that should simply fade away.
• Let kids be kids. I’ve been to playdates where the moms set elaborate schedules. Noon to 12:30 we had a snack; 12:30 to 1 we did a craft. 1 to 1:30 the kids played t-ball. 1:30 to 2 we had ice cream sundaes. While it’s nice to plan ahead, it’s actually far better for kids to give them basic toys like blocks, dress-up clothing, and balls, and let them do what they will with those tools. According to one Boston College developmental psychologist and researcher, free play helps kids learn important life skills such as how to compromise, anticipate other people’s needs, and meet their own needs and desires. “To play well,” says researcher Peter Gray, “and to keep others interested in continuing to play with you, you must be able to see the world from the other players’ points of view.” This leads me to my next tip…
• Stay close, but don’t intervene right away. In the beginning, I was right on top of my daughter like a mythical helicopter parent. Now I realize that yes, my kids need me to help them navigate some problems, but it’s probably better to let them try to solve them first. I’ve also learned that as much as it’s nice to sit and talk in the kitchen while kids play in the den, a parent’s presence is often enough to keep the playdate on track. (And when those eyes aren’t there, hair gets cut, dolls faces get drawn on with markers, and both kids can claim they didn’t throw the first punch. Trust me. I know these things.)
• Keep it short(ish). Kids get tired quickly. It’s hard sharing, and even harder dealing with lots of activity. Over the years I’ve interviewed plenty of smart experts and they all seem to agree. When kids are young, playdates should be about as long in hours as your child’s age in years. So if your child is two, stick to a two-hour-or-under event. This is just a guideline, of course. Some kids can play all day, while others get overwhelmed after 45 minutes, so make changes accordingly.
• Set a time limit. I once threw a playdate for a non-Gymboree friend (those girls knew my work schedule, and were always so supportive). After about two hours I was ready for the playdate to end, but the mom didn’t show any signs of leaving. The playdate started at noon, and she stuck around until after 4:30! After that I realized I needed to give a starting and ending time when I extended an invitation. And grow a backbone!
• Put away favorite toys. It took me a while to learn this one. Of course, I wanted all my daughter’s friends to have as much fun with her beloved Ducky as she did, but it made her so angry to have to share it that I soon realized it was better for Ducky to sit on a shelf until everyone went home.
• Set boundaries. When Big Girl got older we started having drop off playdates. Some of those kids were whirling dervishes. By the end of the playdate the playroom looked like a nursery school after a holiday party: everything was strewn around and mixed up. When the moms came to pick up they would smile and leave without offering to help pick up the mess. As a result, I would grumble and gripe and complain, swearing never to have a playdate every again. I was the one at fault, though. I should have gone in and explained what was expected at our house when I heard the Legos starting to fly, or taken the kids outside to our swingset if I couldn’t get the carnage under control. I also should have asked the crazy kid’s mom to lend a hand or at least ask their child to help straighten up before they left. I was too afraid of offending or coming off as a meanie,  though. In retrospect, I deserved all those hours of sorting and putting away.
• Don’t expect everyone to reciprocate. To this day one of the things that drives me nuts is that there are a lot of moms out there who might like you, like your child, like having playdates, but will never return an invitation. I used to take it personally. Now, I just let it slide. You never know what someone has going on in their life. Are there moms out there who are just selfish? Sure, but their kids are probably the ones who need the playdates the most.
• Don’t be afraid to discipline — as long as the other mommy isn’t around. If a dropped off kid smacks your kid in your house, you can absolutely give them a time out. You can also call their mom to come and pick them up. However, if your child gets whacked and the mom is sitting right there — unless you want to risk a fight — you really can’t say much. I’ve been lucky. Almost all my friends have been right on top of their kids. However, in the two instances where we had hitters with lax moms come to play I stuck with, “Hitting isn’t nice,” took the toy in question away (it’s always about a toy), and tried to distract them with a new activity.

How have your playdates gone? Do you have any strategies that work better than others? Please post below to tell us all about them.

One final note: I am so excited to announce our first-ever contest and give away. Green products manufacturer Seventh Generation will be giving one of my readers a huge basket of cleaning products and other items. Look for more details in tomorrow’s Favorite Things Friday column!