She got on the bike tentatively. She was nervous. She was upset. It was like she was starting over. She kept stopping and dropping her bike. Once so hard that the reflector popped off. She often let the bike fall on her, scratching up her legs. Another time she got a huge scrape on her knee because she just stopped riding and jumped off instead of making the turn. I didn’t handle any of that very well. I was aggravated to begin with since the weekend was piled up with events and appointments. I just wanted Big Girl to get it then and there so we could ride off into the sunset together. My expectations were a little flawed. I can see that now, but at the time it was so frustrating.

So terrible mommy that I am, what did I do? I sighed. I rolled my eyes. I acted impatient. Big Girl finally let me know what she thought of my teaching and parenting skills. She stopped, dropped the bike again, and wailed. “You don’t love me because I can’t do this. You are all, ‘Sigh. Sigh.’” she said, acting out my infantile behavior. She was right. I was acting like a baby. I stopped and apologized. I told her she could do it. And that she was doing a great job. I was the one who was doing the wrong thing. I was not being a good teacher. And I was sorry. (As usual.) Once we ironed out the fact that I thought she was doing a good job and I reinforced that fact with a hug and kiss, her confidence seemed to reappear. She started doing her turns. Then doing circles. Then working on starting up without help. We still need to work on the last part, but she got the idea of making turns and circles really quickly. She was beaming from ear to ear. Another mini milestone. And for me? Another failed parenting moment.

We are who we are. Big Girl was born, I am convinced, with my perfectionist leanings and super-high standards for herself. (I say that because I look at my two girls and they are completely different. Little Girl could care less about pleasing people. For Big Girl, it’s one of her main goals.) And because I was born with the same I expect at all times that I will be a great teacher and my kids will get things automatically. Expectations are often wrong, though, and the pressure that those expectations put on both kids and everyone around me is wrong, too. I am sure this won’t be the last time I confess to being a sucky parent, but at least I’m trying to be a better one, right? That, like Big Girl’s efforts to start her bike on her own, should could for something.

What’s your parenting style? How do you teach your kids without getting frustrated? Was your parent like I am? If so, how many years did you spend in therapy? I’d like to know.

Two second later there she was. My little girl riding her bike. Alone. I felt so proud. So amazed. In my mind I heard a link breaking. One of the ones connecting her to what I once thought was an unbreakable chain. You know, the chain that keeps her close by my side.

She grew up a little today. She took one more step towards independence. I am so awed by this process. And so very blessed to be along for the ride.

And since I’m writing: What is it that makes everyone who passes in the car break out in a huge smile when they see a kid learning how to ride a bike. All those smiles, all that positive energy. I’m thinking it’s either they are remembering what it was like to learn how to ride. Or maybe they are remembering teaching their own kids. Whatever. All those smiles become part of what is a truly beautiful memory.

What is NCLB? There’s a U.S. government-sponsored Web site about it, but, for those who don’t understand it or never followed it, here’s the deal: Enacted by Bush the second in 2002, NCLB requires schools to test children for specific proficiencies. Your school tests well, it gets federal aid money. It doesn’t test well: Parents can pull their kids out, send them to different schools, get free extra help. Oh, and the schools don’t get federal aid money. Here’s the catch: Certain scores are assessed separately. Kids who speak English as a second language, poor kids, minority kids — their scores often don’t count.

Aside from the fact that that’s a crock since it means those groups don’t get the same attention and care that they should, here’s my biggest problems with NCLB: the teachers end up teaching to the tests. They don’t teach critical thinking, they can’t spend time on the whys. All they can do is get kids to learn things by rote because they need to make sure those kids fill in the right little bubbles on the testing sheet. You could have a terrible teacher who knows how to get kids to memorize stuff but can’t inspire kids to actually learn.

Teacher unions are against the Obama plan, of course. They don’t like one of the provisions being discussed — merit-based pay. Congress doesn’t like the fact that funding will be reallocated based not on the number of kids in a school but on the actual help needed. (And for what it’s worth, I think the entire funding thing is messed up, too.) However, there are some bright spots in the overhaul. Personally, I love the fact that the new plan, if implemented, will create new standards of success including one that requires kids to be “college or career-ready” by the time they graduate high school. This takes into account that everyone doesn’t do well on tests, but that everyone out there can be a productive member of society. It should also raise overall standards for those kids who are education-minded.

This is important because, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, we’re ranked 24th out of 29 Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) member countries when it comes to our 15-year-olds’ math proficiency. We ranked 17th out of 29 for science. A recent Education Week story even pointed to the fact that Americans may soon fall behind when it comes to technology, too. In my opinion, NCLB is partially to blame for this disparity. The reason that kids from other countries regularly outperform those from the States, especially when it comes to math and science, is that you can’t “memorize” math and science. You have to understand it to do well. Which brings us back to the pointlessness of testing.

Of course, President Obama’s plan has to make it through Congress, no easy task these days. It also needs more fleshing out. But, as far as I can tell, we’re finally going in the right direction.

What did you think of No Child Left Behind? What do you think of the quality of your child’s education? Your own education? If you’re from another country: what’s great about how your country educates? What do you see as the major mistakes being made here in the States as well as around the globe? Let’s discuss.