I wash all my clothing. I wash the towels. I wash Big Girl’s and Little Girl’s clothing and sheets. I wash our sheets. Did I mention he only washes his laundry? Yeah, I think I did. When I complained he said he was a GREAT husband. And he does MORE than I do since he gets up EARLIER than I do to get on a train. Uhhh, this is only a new thing, but forget that. When he starts saying that, I rush to the, “Hey, I am up until all hours of the night writing a gazillion words every month. I am superwoman, darn it.” And then he gets madder. Then I tell him to get out of my office because (in martyr voice) I have to WORK.

Sigh. Such an exercise in futility. I just wanted him to hang up the wash so I could get to work. He was too busy sorting his laundry in the garage to come up and deal with the wet laundry. (He works in the city and I have a thing about him possibly catching bedbugs on the 1, 2 or 3 subway so he strips in the garage. Yeah, that’s a little nutty, I know. And yeah, that’s a pretty nice husband — someone who gets almost naked in the garage to appease his wife’s crazies.) But he is slow. Like my Big Girl is slow. He can’t multitask like I can. He does one thing. Until he’s not doing that one thing. He is, simply put, a man like so many of my friend’s husbands. So I told him to come and hang the laundry, he told me he would, but he didn’t come straight up. So I got frustrated and did it myself.

Once he put his load of laundry in, he went to bed. There’s a wash swishing around now. I can hear it since our washing machine and dryer are upstairs in their own little closet/room near the bedrooms. If you haven’t moved your washing machine close to your bedroom, I highly recommend it. Digressing, as always. What would have been a better solution? Leaving the wash where it was and hoping that he hung it up? And if he didn’t then I would have been able to complain, right? I just look at the pile of stuff that moms have to do — well, this mom:

Book Big Girl’s birthday
Send thank yous from Little Girl’s birthday
Pick up eyeglass prescription from eye doctor so I can order Big Girl’s glasses
Call school to set up meeting with superintendent
Get school supplies
Fill out school paperwork for Big Girl and Little Girl

And frankly I get overwhelmed and wonder why husbands — my husband — can’t see why I would be grumpy when he won’t run the vacuum or wash the bathroom occasionally. I love him loads and loads, but tonight, at least for a little while longer, I will be grumpy.

p.s. Written the next day: My husband was not thrilled with my recounting of last night’s events. His words: “I just don’t think what you wrote was fair. Its like FOX NEWS was hired to report on the evenings events…You write an article complaining about me not hanging laundry when I said I would hang the laundry? Maybe if you wrote an article that said, ‘My ogre of a man husband wanted to wait to get up from finishing one pile of laundry before hanging another pile,’ I’d swallow it and not say anything. But you really, really have got to be kidding me with what you wrote.”

And to that I say: Yes, my husband is an excellent husband. He loves me with all his heart. He is probably the best father I have ever seen. Ever. And yes, I did wake him up last night at 3 when I realized I could not put his wet clothes into the laundry without folding an entire load of dry clothing. And yes, he did fold said clothes — mostly his white work t-shirts. But despite the fact that he did that, and despite how much I love him, he is still a slob who does not clean the house unless I go ballistic. And then I’m instantly the nagging, evil wife who says stuff out of anger that I don’t really mean. I’m sorry, my adorable husband, if I hurt your feelings. Separately, you could try and do a load of laundry that isn’t yours occasionally.

How do you handle the separation of chores in your house. I’d love to know.

Before you say it, I’ll say it first: No, there’s no way I am going toilet paper-less like No Impact Man. And I’m not going to get my husband to give up his Bounty paper towels, either. (I actually have to buy two sets of towels because my husband refuses to use my Seventh Generation or Marcal Small Steps paper towels.) But there’s plenty I can do here in the house to reduce the amount of paper products that go into the garbage. For example, I have a stainless steel kitchen. Cleaning it requires special cleansers — I use Method’s Steel for Real spray — and, in the past, lots of paper towels. But starting this month, however, I have made the switch over to a washable microfiber cloth. It sits under the counter on top of the spray. It isn’t the Method Stainless Steel microfiber cloth, which I didn’t know existed until I had to provide the last link, but it works pretty well. I also have a microfiber cloth for my wood as well as another for general cleaning. Seems to be doing the job.

Another change: Making sure there are plenty of hand towels lying around the kitchen. Wash cloths, too. The baby is constantly dirty, and it’s nice to be able to use a wash cloth on her face rather than grabbing a paper towel. Likewise, I’m teaching my big girl to reach for the hand towel instead of the paper towel when her hands are dirty or need drying.

The bathroom is a little tougher. Aside from buying recycled toilet paper, there’s not much I can do. Sure, I can try and use fewer squares, which I am doing but short of installing a bidet, how can I cut down on toilet tissue use? Yes, I am asking. Feel free to post any suggestions. I considered using a squirt bottle and air drying, but who has time for that? (And I’m sorry for giving you that visual.) This is definitely a tough one, but I’m hoping doing little things like avoiding using toilet paper for picking up hair out of the shower drain or using cloth instead of paper to wipe toothpaste off the counter will add up.

The final paper-related (well, it’s actually wood pulp fluff) product reduction…this is a huge one: We’ve got Little Girl day potty trained! Undies all day. Diapers for naps — which she often keeps dry so I reuse –  and at night. Talk about saving the environment! And for those who wonder how I did it: I just took the diapers away and stuck with it. You have to expect accidents. You have to tote your potty with you everywhere you go. But once the kid gets the idea, you’re home free.

So all in all my February changes are pretty good, I think. Wait until you see my March changes. I hope I have the guts to go through with them and post about them. I seem to have no shame and no Internet filter, so I’m thinking I will.

What changes have you made lately to green your house and life? I love reading about what other people do. Inspires me and the other folks who read this blog!