Little Girl inside my tummy. May, 2008. Sigh.

Last night I went to spin class and the woman spinning next to me was pregnant. It took me back three years ago when I was that person making sure I was drinking enough and feeling my baby kick to the beat. (Big Girl used to sleep in my belly during the classes. Little Girl was awake and dancing, I think!)

Little things like that remind me how much I love being a mom, and how much I would love to be a mom of three. In fact, it’s times like those that I sometimes feel a visceral pull on my heart. Normally, I love my family, and wouldn’t change a thing, but every once in a while my heart reminds me about how much I’d like to have one more child. As crazy as my life is, as busy as we are, I know I could handle a third.

Sure, I am aware of the fact that I am not an easy pregnant person, and that I have medical issues that might make a third pregnancy dangerous. I don’t even know if I could conceive and carry a third, but the desire is there.

My husband is set, though. He loves having two kids. He’s not interested at all in having a third. As much as I try and tell him how much fun it was/is being one of three, and how maybe this time he’d get a boy, he doesn’t care. He loves having daughters, he says, and as an only child he’s often overwhelmed by the noise and confusion that two children bring. Not even the prospect of going to Islanders games or having a little second mate on our boat are enough to sway him. His girls will go to hockey games with him, he says. His girls will learn to drive the boat.

Sometimes I lie in bed and think about the baby that I lost through a late miscarriage. I think about how he or she would be in the last year of preschool. I wonder if I would be having the same regrets or desire for another if that child had been born. Maybe this is all hormonal — not real. But right now at this time in this place it feels very, very real.

Are you happy with your family size? I’d love to hear about it.

I’ll give you the quick and dirty summary. Researchers think that triclosan interferes with estrogen sulfotransferase, an enzyme that is linked to the metabolism of estrogen. Estrogen that’s supposed to move through the placenta and help the baby grow. Estrogen that plays a “crucial” role in brain development and the regulation of genes, and helps regulate the amount of oxygen that gets through to the developing fetus.

From the report: “We suspect that makes this substance dangerous in pregnancy if enough of the triclosan gets through to the placenta to affect the enzyme,” said James, a professor and chairwoman of medicinal chemistry in the UF College of Pharmacy. “We know for sure it is a very potent inhibitor. What we don’t know is the kinds of levels you would have to be exposed to to see a negative effect. We know it is a problem, but we don’t know how much of a problem. We need to move forward and do additional studies.”

And the Food and Drug Administration’s response? You know, the FDA that in April said it would be taking another look at triclosan. (Even as other countries and entire continents ban the chemical. The European Union, for example, put a complete ban on Triclosan — anything that might come in contact with food — that goes into effect as of 2011.) Crickets, baby. Crickets. Not a word. Even after earlier this year the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) said it was suing the FDA.

For more than a year I have reported on almost every single triclosan-related event. Every new study. Every annoying fact and figure. And we’re still in a holding pattern. Yeah, I know there are far more important things going on now, but it’s TIME that we step up and contact our FDA and tell them how we feel. How do I feel? It’s time to join the rest of the world and make it impossible for triclosan to cross a placenta. We need our government to protect us. Now! Not sure why? Read one of my first blog posts to learn more.

Want to get involved? You can contact the FDA directly. Check out this link for phone and email info. You should also contact your local congressperson. Here’s a link where you input your state and Zip code. We are the only ones who can affect change. Remember, the chemical lobby spends MILLIONS every year to keep things the way they are. But WE are the ones who vote people in or out of office. We do have power. We do.

About a year later Big Girl was at Gymboree art class. I always sent in snack. On that day she got cantaloupe cut into pieces. About half way through the snack, she started choking. The teacher did the Heimlich and dislodged the fruit. I guess I didn’t chop it small enough because that soft piece of fruit had to be manually removed. I was shaking when my husband came home and told me about it.

More recently, Little Girl, my youngest, gave us a choking scare. It was a few months ago, in fact. Little Girl was only 17-months-old. We had given her a soft pretzel to eat sitting in her stroller. She’s not a stroller kid so a pretzel seemed like a good idea to keep her entertained. She bit off too much, however, and a piece got stuck at the back of her throat. A combination of too much of a too-slippery food got lodged at the top of her soft palate. She was choking, gagging, vomiting, couldn’t breathe. Remembering my CPR training, I looked into her mouth before attempting the Heimlich. I saw the pretzel was within reach, so I made a hook with my finger, reached in, and fished it out. I don’t know who was more frightened — her or me.

What’s the point? Why do I want to ruin your day with these unappealing accounts? I want to remind you that choking is scary stuff, especially since it’s the leading cause of death among children. One child dies every five days due to choking, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). Serious, shocking fact, right?

Hoping to reverse this statistic, the AAP today released a new policy statement asking food manufacturers to put labels on food products that pose a significant choking hazard, and to change the design of new and existing food to minimize the risk. The new policy also asks for a recall of food products that pose a significant risk, and the creation of a nationwide food-related choking-incident surveillance and reporting system, according to the AAP press release.

Of course, as parents we’re the ones who have the best ability to protect our kids. We need to know, as I learned, that fruit should be cut up into tiny pieces, and we should avoid foods such as hard candy, nuts, seeds, raw carrots, hotdogs, and popcorn until a child is much older. Hotdogs, especially post the greatest risk since they cause more choking deaths than any other food, according to Gary Smith, MD, DrPH, director of the Center for Injury Research and Policy at Nationwide Children’s Hospital.

You can figure out which foods might cause a child to choke by using common sense. Is it round? Is it firm? Is it hard to chew? Is it small enough to cover a child’s windpipe? When in doubt, chop it up, and make sure really small, round items such as raisins and grapes are cut into fours. Avoid hard items completely, and don’t skip the knife just because your child can take bites. As anyone who has a toddler will tell you, they often bite off more than they can chew. (Note to self: What were you thinking giving a toddler a whole soft pretzel? Definitely a choking hazard — and a stupid move.) A few more suggestions:

• Make sure kids are sitting up when eating or drinking
• Don’t feed kids in the car — you might not notice them choking
• Make sure food is cut into chunks smaller than 1/2 inch
• Don’t leave kids alone with food; watch older kids to make sure they don’t “feed” younger ones off-limit food
• Avoid creamy or sticky food such as peanut butter or cream cheese, both of which can get stuck at the back of the throat.

Finally, as I can attest, everyone should take a CPR class, and repeat that class every few years. It is absolutely worth taking. The Red Cross has some wonderful programs, and you can also check with your local hospital or fire department.

I know how unbelievably lucky we were. Any of our experiences could have ended much differently. The kids could have been permanently disabled. They could have been brain damaged or worse. Hmmm. The last time I took a CPR class I was pregnant. More than two years go. Maybe it’s time for a refresher course. Anyone want to join me?

Have you taken a CPR class? Would you know what to do if your child — or someone else’s was choking? Did you realize how serious a risk this is?

This week, the Environmental Working Group confirmed BPA’s reach is getting wider, and affecting us before we are born. The organization’s tests found that BPA is present in nine out of 10 cord blood samples taken right after birth. Nine out of 10. Here’s the problem with BPA: It’s an endocrine disruptor. This means that, when your body is presented with both the real hormones –which are our body’s natural communicators that tell our systems what to do — and BPA, it chooses BPA. What does that mean? The Natural Resources Defense Council says it best: “This disruption can happen through altering normal hormone levels, halting or stimulating the production of hormones, or changing the way hormones travel through the body, thus affecting the functions that these hormones control.” A November study by health insurer Kaiser Permanente found that men who were exposed to high levels of BPA experienced sexual dysfunction. They had issues with “erectile function, ejaculation capability, sexual desire, and overall satisfaction with sex life.” The earlier the exposure, the worse it is, according to other researchers. Another study in the Journal of Clinical Investigation uncovered a potential “dramatic reduction of fertility in males.”

For females, according to researchers at North Carolina State University, BPA exposure has the opposite effect: Early puberty. Another study from the University of Cincinnati Academic Health Center links female BPA exposure to heart disease. A really scary study of mice out of the Endocrine Society found that mice exposed to BPA while still in the womb actually had changes of their DNA. And there has been study after study linking BPA to female infertility.

Academics and scientists — not groups prone to hysteria — have asked the FDA and U.S. government to limit BPA exposure, but to no avail. The chemical lobby in this country is just too strong. Some states aren’t waiting for the government to act. Minnesota has already banned BPA in baby bottles. Connecticut. Suffolk County, New York and Chicago have instituted their own bans.

So if states and counties are recognizing the dangers of BPA, what’s it going to take before our government stands up to big chemical companies and protects our babies and children? Who knows, but we only have to look at how long our government let Big Tobacco lie to us about the effects of smoking to get an inkling of what’s going on.

In my house, we’ve all got reusable stainless steel water bottles. I used glass baby bottles for Little Girl. If faced with a choice, I always go with the fresh veggies and fruit. I avoid plastic packaging and canned veggies in particular, since BPA linings in cans have been proven to leech into food. I’d implore all of you to do the same. You need to protect yourself and your family because it’s pretty clear that our government is taking a pass on this one. It’s such an embarrassment and shame.

Have you changed how you’re consuming plastic? Are you afraid of BPA? Would you ever have yourself or your family tested for exposure? I’d love to know.

Some of this sleepiness is genetic, I’m sure. My husband can sleep anywhere. Before we had kids he would sleep in on Saturdays until 2 or 3 p.m. I’d go out, do a cardio class, take yoga or Pilates, hit a karate class, go food shopping and come home and wake him up for the day. Thank goodness the kids take after Daddy. If they took after me — someone who stays up until 1 or 2 every night, I’d be losing my mind. Genetics aside, there are some things we do to keep them on these amazing schedules. I’m going to skip the tips you always hear — setting a routine, playing soft music, making their tummies full and warm — and concentrate on the things you may have missed.

1. Get rid of the monitor. When I had Big Girl, we had a monitor. It drove us nuts. We’d hear every sniff and snuffle. I’d go in to see if she was okay, and I’d wake her in the process. Once I got rid of the monitor, she slept much better. Made perfect sense. All of us — babies included — wake up several times each night as we pass from stage to stage of sleep. By running when the baby made a little noise, or even let out a cry or two, we weren’t letting her learn how to soothe herself back to sleep.
2. Keep it dark. Light helps our bodies awaken us. It’s one of the reasons we are awake during the day and sleep at night. You can help babies sleep longer and go down for naps easier by installing blackout shades, which will bring evening dusk into your nursery even at 11 a.m.
3. Nap them — even if they don’t want to nap. My very sage pediatrician Dr. Ilyse Nayor once told me that every child needs to learn to be alone. And I should put my daughter in for a nap even if she didn’t want to sleep. We followed her advice, and to this day I can tell Big Girl to go into her room and take some quiet time. There’s good research that says daytime naps help children learn, and since all babies need up to 16 hours of sleep each day, if you put them in regularly, eventually, they are going to fall asleep.
   
4. Don’t let them sleep in your bed. I know there is a very strong co-sleeping contingent online, however when I look at the research I am convinced that co-sleeping isn’t in anyone’s best interest. Safety aside (the American Academy of Pediatrics has come out against co-sleeping), babies who sleep with parents get less sleep than their peers, and the affects of co-sleeping stay with them until they are school age, according to one study.
5. Avoid caffeine. This might seem like a crazy tip. Who would give a baby or a child caffeine, right? But well-meaning parents who let kids have a chocolate bar, chocolate ice cream or cookies or a sip of soda or hot cocoa are setting their kids up for potential sleep issues. All of the above have caffeine. And while a cup of cocoa might not bother a 135-pound mommy, it’s going to affect a 25-pound toddler. You can also inadvertently give your infant caffeine via breast milk and, since small babies can’t clear it from their systems all that well, it builds up over time keeping them awake. Bottom line: keep caffeine to a minimum to help your baby drift off to sleep better.
6. Keep things cool — but not too cool. When we fall asleep, our bodies cool down. If the room is too warm — warmer than 68 degrees — it takes our bodies longer to cool, and it takes us longer to fall asleep. Babies have it tougher because they can’t self-regulate temperature when they are small, so we need to be careful that they are not too cold or too warm when we put them into their cribs.
7. Don’t smoke — or let kids breathe second-hand smoke. The nicotine in cigarette smoke disrupts babies’ sleeping habits. And yes, it will get to your child through your breast milk, so if you’re still smoking, please stop.
8. Keep the sleep location consistent. If you let your baby sleep in the car — or pack-and-play or stroller — during the day, they may not sleep as well at night in their crib, according to a study. Don’t get crazy if you can’t put your baby down in her crib every day, but whenever possible, let her sleep where she’s used to sleeping at night.

Do you have a sleep strategy that I’ve missed? How long did it take you to sleep train your child? Are you a fan of crying it out? (We are…) Tell me about it.