Today my Facebook feed is filled with women sharing the Bad Moms trailer. What, you haven’t seen it? Here’s the link:
People are going crazy! They identify with the moms who are, in the trailer, tired of trying to be perfect moms. I get it. Especially since, for a long time, I did everything in my power to be the perfect mom.
My kids had the best birthday parties. The best toys — indoors and out. I volunteered for everything. I hosted many, many playdates. I fed them the best food and protected them as if they were tiny china dolls that would break in a second. And all the while I felt less than and unworthy.
Today, not so much. Yes, the food thing is still there but not because I feel like I will fail them by giving them non-organic food. It’s because I actually feel very strongly about avoiding pesticides and GMOs. But the constant feeling of not being good enough is slowly ebbing away. As I said to my daughter this weekend when she asked me a pointed question: “Haven’t you realized yet with everything we’ve been through? None of that matters. All that matters is your health and the people who love you.”
What I didn’t say: Ignore anyone who tries to make you feel less than because you’re not like them. As long as you are a nice person — and no, I wasn’t always a nice person when I felt less than — that’s all that matters.
Friends may come and go for their own insane reasons. They may fade away because you don’t have the same beliefs as they do or they see something in you that makes them question themselves or their lives. Meanwhile, yes, strangers may judge you because you don’t wear the right clothing or drive the cool car. But as long as you are true to yourself and your needs and beliefs you’re doing okay.