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She Finally Told the Kid No

This summer Big Girl had issues with two kids who live close to our house. One of the girls just couldn’t tolerate her. Whatever. Her loss. I’m okay with that now. The other one has made it her mission to try and get under my poor kid’s skin. On Friday, Big Girl came home with yet another story.

The kids were lining up to come in from recess. This kid came over to my daughter and, without saying anything else, asked her for a loom necklace she was wearing. “Can I have your necklace?” Just like that. Out of the blue. It was, by the way, a necklace that my kid spend an hour or so working on. My kid, THANK GOD, told her no. Then she offered to show her how to make it. (I will not comment on that. I will focus on the good and not rage that she should not be offering up any of her time or effort, but I digress.)

Not able to get what she wanted, the girl walked back to her friend — the one who simply ignores my daughter. “What was that about, you asking her for her necklace,” said the one who ignores my daughter. The girl replied, “Oh, I was just going to take it and give it to so-and-so.” To her credit, the ignoring child said, “Wow, that was mean.” And they all went back inside to their respective classrooms. Big Girl is not in either of their classes. I would have moved her if she was.

I don’t get why this girl has to keep bothering my kid. She doesn’t like her for whatever reason. (I actually think it’s because she is smart, super-competitive, and sees my kid as a threat.) Still, I am so glad Big Girl said no. I would have preferred she told her to go to hell, but that’s just not in her nature. Either way, I am unable to intervene because everyone I’ve consulted on this told me that I can’t get involved. Big Girl just needs to figure it out on her own.

I have a huge problem with this considering these two girls recently told my friend’s daughter that Big Girl is telling lies about them bullying her. What a joke. My kid is the one telling lies. A therapist I spoke to told me that by going to the parents it will only prolong the bullying and make it worse. I tend to agree. It also takes power out of my child’s hands, she said. She will feel better if she shuts them down herself like she did last week. I’m taking the advice and staying out of it. Still, I wonder why kids are so mean. Is it the parents and their upbringing or something completely different? I’d like to know.

2 Responses to “She Finally Told the Kid No”

  1. Holly H says:

    I am so sorry your daughter is being bullied. I was horribly bullied by this one girl in 4th grade who decided that she didn’t like me for whatever reason and the rest of the class followed. It was awful. My mom had several meetings with the teacher who told her I was lying, yet I’d come home with scratches and spit in my hair and hadn’t eaten all day because my lunch was taken. I got through the year by reading lots and lots of books. While I was never part of the super popular crowd, it was better by the time I got to middle school, mainly because several of the main perpretrators went to a different school. Hopefully that will be the case for your daughter too!

  2. kb says:

    I’m not so sure she is being bullied as I am that this other kid is just a mean kid. Mean and self-centered. And probably very insecure that she needs to go outside of herself to find her self-worth.

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