Feed on

Parenting a Tween Sucks

Today: “Mommy, the girls were playing at recess and found a cool cut through to a secret area. I went over trying to be nice and to try and get involved. I asked if they had found any clues and [name deleted] told me, ‘Go away, this is none of your business.’ What should I do?”

Yesterday: “Mommy, [name deleted] tried to take all my snack again. I tried to ignore her but when I said no she said I was mean and that she wasn’t going to talk to me anymore. I felt bad so I just gave her all my chocolate cookies.”

Two days ago: “Mommy, I have a problem. [Name deleted] wants to eat all my snack. She tells me she wants everything I bring and that I should share it with her. What am I supposed to do? It’s been happening all month.”

These are the problems I’m dealing with and honestly, these simple problems have me stumped. What should I tell my child when she comes home telling me she’s having troubles figuring out her next move when I have no idea what to tell her? Do I tell her, in the case of the girl who told her to go away, that she should ignore mean, negative people and stick with the girls she likes? What happens then, when I give her that advice, and she tells me that she went over because that mean girl was playing with some of the girls she really likes? How do I figure out what to tell her that supports her as a person but also won’t make her a social outcast? I really had nothing on that one.

What about the snack thief? First I tried to tell her to explain that she needs her snacks. (And goodness knows my skinny, skinny kid actually needs every calorie she can get.) That didn’t work. The would-be snacker said she needed them more. So then I told her to sit with other people. No, she told me, the seats are set already. She couldn’t move to another part of the table. Besides, she doesn’t know how to get into the conversation with the other girls. They all watch shows that she doesn’t watch. She’d have nothing to talk about. Then I told her to eat fast! Can you imagine? Telling her to gobble her food so that the kid wouldn’t see it. She wasn’t quick enough. The babysitter told her to lick her snacks, but I nixed that privately. That seems too weird and isolating. Oh, look, there’s the weird kid who licks her food before she eats it. I finally got creative and told her to tell her friend that her cookies are special cookies to help her digestion. They are medicinal cookies. OMG, I realize how crazy that sounds as I write it. I can’t wait to hear what she has to say when she gets home today.

A good friend recently reminded me that little kids come with little problems and big kids have big problems. I guess that’s true. I find myself longing for the days when my biggest problem was asking my daughter to go play with the other kids because she only wanted me. Not such a big problem in comparison, hu?

What would you tell your child? How would you deal with these issues? What advice would you give? I’d like to know. Also, I’d like to invite you to come and Like Natural As Possible Mom on Facebook. I try and post green, healthy, and crunchy news and images a few times daily. Come join the fun by clicking on the Facebook icon to your right.

One Response to “Parenting a Tween Sucks”

  1. Elizabeth says:

    I read this today and then came across an article on the subject this afternoon. Not sure the advice is specific enough to help, but thought I’d share. http://www.everydayfamily.com/blog/six-helpful-tips-for-when-mean-girls-strike/

Leave a Reply