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Errands Aren’t Quality Time

In our rush, rush, rush household I grab alone time with the kids when I can. Sometimes, that means I pick one kid to take to the store with me. I assumed that having 30 minutes alone in the car to chat was quality time. I was wrong, I guess.

Big Girl is still talking to someone to deal with her shyness and anxiety. She goes every other week or every three weeks since she’s made great strides. She isn’t paralyzed with fear anymore whenever she needs to talk to someone new. Anyway, at our latest session we met to chat about morning issues. She’s really tough in the morning. It runs in the family, I guess, since both of her parents (yes, me, too) have morning issues. While we were talking it came out that she’s really mad at us for not giving her quality time. I mentioned the car rides and shopping trips, but the therapist told me that I was wrong. Shopping is running errands. It’s not one-on-one time. And neither is the Girl Scout troop that I lead or the religion classes that I teach. All this time I think I am doing something special for my kid and I find out that yes, it’s nice, but it’s not the alone time she needs.

I’m not sure what to do with this information because shopping needs to get done. Errands need to get done. I’m not going to stop teaching religion or being a Girl Scout leader. I just need to build more time into my schedule for one-on-one time with both kids.

Every year I make a New Year’s resolution, so now I have a good one. More time with my kids. What’s yours?

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