Over the past 24 hours I have cried three times while reading Facebook status updates. This is not normal or good. It actually sucks. I won’t bore you with the details, but I am sure you could figure one or two of them out. Okay, I’ll tell you about one: A high school alum just announced her pregnancy this morning. Sounds like her due date is what mine would have been. Reading about her cravings and joyous news, I was happy for her, but so, so sad for me.
Facebook isn’t the only thing that’s making me cry. I tear up when I drive up my street and see two new moms pushing strollers. I almost lost it in Children’s Place when I passed by the piles of newborn clothing. I even got all misty when I put Little Girl to bed last night. I feel so horrible and guilty that my kids have suffered through these last three weeks of summer. Instead of fun day trips and visits to our beach club my kids have sat around while I’ve gone to doctors appointments and emergency room visits. They’ve watched me lying on the couch unable to get up. My poor kids.
But I digress as always. I can’t do anything about random stroller mommies or time that I can’t get back, but I can do something about Facebook. It’s actually important that I do something about Facebook. You see, I am starting to feel better physically. I’m also back to feeling like myself when I am working. (Place me in front of the computer — even cramping and bleeding — and I become Ms. Editor or Ms. Writer on a mission to suss out the right grammar and turn the perfect phrase.) Work has been my salvation these past few weeks. I am myself when I am in front of this PC except when Facebook is sitting on my screen. And so, since I can’t be sure how long this darkness covering my soul will be sticking around, I am taking myself out of the Facebook world. The world where everyone is doing FAN-TABULOUS, and having a freakin’ ball. Where everyone’s life is perfect except mine. (And another super-brave, amazing friend’s life. She happens to be going through cancer on Facebook, but she’s just a much stronger, much better person than I am.) Sure, I know that much of what gets posted on social networks like Facebook is an exaggeration, but I don’t have the clarity to separate fact from fiction right now, so I just need to make it all go away.
And that is why on Tuesday I am going to update my status with the following: Taking a self-imposed one-month leave of absence from Facebook. See you in October.
Once I make that announcement, I’m transferring ownership of the NaturalAsPossibleMom.com Facebook page to my hubby (I’ll email things to update it on a daily basis), and deleting my account. Since Facebook NEVER really deletes anything, I’ll be able to go back online if I want to — and if I’m ready to– in October. Who knows, maybe I won’t even want to. But until then, I’m sticking to Twitter and Google +.
Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend. I’m getting ready to go get a facial in a bit. I am in desperate need to be touched in a way that’s not painful or too claustrophobic or the cause of heavy bleeding. That’s not too much to ask, right?