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Why I’ve Been Silent

It’s not like me, right? I’ve been a good little blogger, checking in at least every other day since I started this blog way back when. And yet the last month all you’ve seen is the equivalent of chirping crickets. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I just don’t feel like blogging. (Plus, a few times I thought I scheduled the blog to post and in my haste just saved — didn’t publish.)

My big dilemma: Am I making the right choice taking Big Girl from the safety of her private, Progressive school seeped in the tradition of Neo-Humanism. (From KidsWorldwide.org: “Neo Humanism is an ecological, holistic, comprehensive philosophy. Drawing upon ancient teachings on the levels of consciousness, a neo-humanistic approach to education seeks to develop the more subtle capacities of the human mind. Neo-Humanism is the spirit of benevolence. To teach love one must embody it. To embody love one must see all as divine. To see all as divine one must practice methods of contemplation and inner reflection. Only then will one embody the true spirit of universal outlook in their thoughts and actions. “)

Great stuff, right? Teaching kids to be benevolent and all that? To, and I quote again, “develop a universal outlook, free from all discrimination; [children] come to embrace all people as members of one human family, regardless of race, religion, colour, creed, or sex.” I freaking love it.

The school that she will be moving to will not follow this tenet. Quite honestly, moving Big Girl feels like I am going against all my beliefs. I hate the thought of putting her someplace where (some of the) kids dress to impress — not to play. I’m worried that my sweet Big Girl will learn things that I don’t want her to know yet. I mean, the kid still hasn’t seen Hannah Montana or any of the drivel dished out for tweens and teens. I didn’t let her watch So You Think You Can Dance? because I think it’s too adult for her. She doesn’t know who Justin Bieber is or who The Jonas Brothers are. She’s never seen a movie that wasn’t rated G. She doesn’t ask for stuff she sees in commercials because she doesn’t watch channels with commercials. She is innocent.

And yes, I am worried that my Big Girl, who left first grade working in a third grade spelling and grammar book will be bored out of her mind.

Put all these things together and you have me: A big, honking mess. I can’t sleep. I feel like I am making a humongous mistake. I’m still not sure what I am going to do. I’ll let you know when I figure it all out…

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