Comments on: Peer Pressure and Lunchtime

By: kb

kb — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:24:37 +0000

Re: Minority: In this case we’re in the majority. The school doesn’t allow candy or chocolate. The majority of the class brings healthy lunches.

You’re right about teaching right from wrong. I’m trying. Katelyn is so impressionable, and so young. She wants to be liked by That Girl, who, despite the fact that she has been awful to Katelyn, has been a favored friend all along. Even when she was suspended for pushing my little girl down.

Good for you for being such an involved parent, BTW.

By: kb

kb — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:22:17 +0000

We do cookies, too. (Not allowed candy as per school rules.) And we’ve definitely had the talk many times about how we, as a family, are not against cookies or sweets. She watches me eat cookies and she can eat them, too. I think the problem was how That Girl was making Katelyn feel bad about her choices. And that worries me. There are going to be plenty of That Girls in the future after all…

By: kb

kb — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:20:25 +0000

I asked her yesterday if she felt bad that That Girl was making fun of her sandwich. She said, “Wonder Bread is nutritious.” She looks up to this little girl so much. I don’t get it because she’s come home crying hysterically from things she has said and done to her. I’ve had other parents who were on trips tell me about issues. It’s so frustrating.

Yes, I’m going to ask her who she sat with today and tell her that I suggested that she not sit next to That Girl during lunch. Again, wouldn’t tell her she can’t play with That Girl. Just that I want her to feel good about what we’re sending for lunch.

By: Shari

Shari — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:08:40 +0000

I am sorry Katelyn was made to feel badly about her lunch box. I have not encountered this yet with my son, actually, he has often told me that certain friends of his want their moms to buy the snacks he has. Occasionally I do slip in a “junky” treat such as a conventional cookie or a piece of Halloween candy so that he knows it is OK by me if its in moderation.

By: Lori

Lori — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:07:28 +0000

You absolutely did the right thing. I would be interested to hear the response the teachers and directors gave you.

And as Christina @ Spoonfed said, we have made the effort to teach our son to treat others as he would want to be treated, which means no making fun of other people because of any reason and not going along with others…being the better person. So I too have no tolerance for kids like That Girl. Her parents should be ashamed of themselves.

By: Julie

Julie — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:03:24 +0000

My question is what are you going to say to Katelyn? Are you going to ask her why she sits with That Girl when they’ve had conflict in the past? Are you going to tell her she’s “not allowed” to sit with her anymore or that you called the school?

By: Debbe Geiger

Debbe Geiger — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:00:53 +0000

As the parent of a teenager, i think you have to brace yourself for the cold hard fact that you are not always going to be able to influence where your child sits, or who she is exposed to. My kid wants a belly ring and her ear cartilage pierced. She also wants to drive in cars with strangers, stay out all night for her boyfriend’s prom, and stares at me in absolute mortified shock when I say I’m going to call a girl’s parents when she mistakently thinks I’m going to allow her to sleep at a girl’s house I’ve never met. It’s our job as parents to teach them right from wrong at home, and team them to fend for themeselves in the real world where other parents’ values are not the same as yours or mine. Unfortunately, you’ve got a long road ahead that won’t be fixed by calling the school and complaining about “that girl.” In this case, I think, unfortunately, you are in the minority with your food choices. There’s a lot more out of them there that will influence your daughter in other, less-than-desirable ways that I’m sure your daughters will enounter as she grows up.

By: susandelg

susandelg — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 18:40:01 +0000

I recently heard a simple phrase that has changed how we deal with this kind of a situation: Don’t yuck my yums. Kind of says it all.

By: Laura

Laura — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 18:23:55 +0000

That Girl sounds VERY annoying. She definitely needs to keep her eating habits to herself. I wouldn’t want her making my child feel inferior either.

By: Dina Santorelli

Dina Santorelli — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 13:20:57 +0000

I think these kinds of things are bound to happen, whether it’s food, designer-brand clothing or the kinds of books they read. I think it’s normal for kids to see what other kids do and wonder if they got the better deal. I’ll never forget when my daughter, who was about 6 at the time, came home from school and asked, “Mommy, why don’t we have a babysitter like some of the other kids? You’re here all the time.” I guess I could have sat her down and discussed how lucky she was to have a mom who worked from home, but I actually just laughed. It’s been five years, and she never asked me that question again.