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My Kid is Funny

I’ve said it many times: Big Girl is just like me — serious, quiet, thoughtful. Little Girl, however, is a riot. She’s funny, and she knows it.

Wednesday she started school. I asked her if she was finally going to make me a picture. (Her running joke all summer was that all the pictures she made in her mini camp were for Papa — my father-in-law.) “You’re going to make Mommy something today, right?” She looked at me, started laughing, and told me no. “It’s for Shari,” she said, mentioning one of our good friends. And then she laughed some more. I did get a picture, though. It is hanging up in my office.

Another example: Yesterday Little Girl, Big Girl and I went to Trader Joe’s. We decided to hit Home Goods, too. We pulled into the parking lot behind the building and I reminisced about the Gymboree that used to be there. I told Big Girl about the day I pulled around the same corner and saw a tunnel out back. I knew, I told her, that someone must have thrown up. And then I explained how we went inside — she and I — and asked if someone threw up. When we got the confirmation, we left. Everyone thought I was nuts. Why did we leave, Big Girl wanted to know. I explained how vomit is my thing. I can’t handle it. It freaks me out.

And then I heard it. Little Girl making noises like she was going to throw up. Like she was trying to throw up. I stopped the car and turned around. “Don’t even think about it,” I told my 26-month-old daughter. She grinned ear to ear, started laughing and said, “That’s funny, Mommy. I funny!” I didn’t know whether to laugh with her, cry or be really mad. I went with all of the above.

Being Little Girl’s mom is such a trip. It’s amazing to live with someone who is constantly looking for the joke. Little Girl was interchanging nursery rhymes with the word poop at like 18 months. She’s been grabbing things and hiding them since around the same time. Her favorite phrase for months now: That’s funny! I funny, Mommy!

And she’s right. She is. I feel sorry for her teachers. She’s going to drive them nuts.

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