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Dear First Mean Commenter

Barry Jenner (not his real name, of course), left me a comment tonight on today’s post: The Flight Aftermath. Here it is:

“Wow – this is truly the silliest thing I have read. What a narcissist you are! You were traveling with your CHILDREN!!! Has anyone ever told you that you (as a mom) are setting an example for them? That you will make your childish, irrational fears their childish irrational fears should they have the misfortune to witness them? I feel bad for both your husband who must suffer with you and your children who must suffer because of you. Give your family a break and stop being the center of your own little universe. The best part is all this AFTER you blamed your mother for own your fear of flying. Really? Do you have any mirrors in your house? Do you like what you see? Oh, wait – you must. You’re a narcissist. I suspect I know what that “disability card” is all about….”

Hmmm. Okay, you have a right to your opinion. I have a right to respond. ‘Cause, hey, it’s my blog! First off, you got it wrong. I never blamed my mother for creating my fear of flying. You need to read more carefully. I was explaining where it came from.

Second: ABSOLUTELY I feel terrible about crying in front of my kids. I hate myself when I can’t control what’s happening in my head. Do you think I would choose to act like this? I have a mental disability called a phobia. It’s real, and I am not proud of the way I act because of it or that I am so weak that I can’t over come it. And trust me, I have tried.

Finally: What I didn’t write in the post you responded to was how I talked to Big Girl while we were on the flight and when we got off about why I was upset. I actually explained how, as we experience things, our brains create synapses — like roads — and when our bodies experience that same thing it goes on automatic pilot, so to speak. I had a bad experience as a child and now my brain takes me back there over and over again. And yes, I told her how I act isn’t right or normal. That Mommy is sick. She has something wrong with her head. But that I fly anyway so someday so she can enjoy herself. Besides, the more I do it, the more chance I have of maybe overcoming my fear. And I told her about the doctors I’ve spoken to and the classes I’ve taken. And everything I do and have done to try and overcome it. Finally, I told her how proud I was of her that she enjoys flying. And how it’s a relatively safe mode of transportation. And she got it. She did. And she was smiling and kissing me and telling me how she thought being a pilot was cool.

So before you go all Simon Cowell on me, maybe you should get the facts.

Love, –KB

2 Responses to “Dear First Mean Commenter”

  1. Whoever wrote that is a complete idiot. They must be fearless because they have no idea how debilitating a phobia is. It’s terrible and makes you feel like you’re having a panic attack. If they ever had a terrible phobia, they would understand.

    Good for you to not let it bother you!! People like that are just asinine. You’re very justified in your fear.

  2. kb says:

    Thanks. Yes, it’s pretty horrible, although as phobias go it’s not really one that affects me on a daily basis. There are people who have it way worse than I do. Thank goodness I only fly once or twice a year.


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