As for self-esteem, I just try to praise my kids when it’s warranted, encourage them in the areas they’re particularly talented and let them know that I love them no matter what. I agree with Marilyn though — it’s mostly something you learn. That said, I think that if a person can find his/her niche, whatever that is, it helps speed up the process greatly.

I think you handled the name thing the same way I probably would have if my daughter were that age. She probably felt like she was in over her head by that time and I’m betting she was grateful that you stepped in.

I’m afraid I don’t have a great idea for you to help build your kids’ self-esteem. I think it’s something that you learn as you grow and can’t really be taught. If you know yourself and teach that by example to your kids I think that’s all you can do. It looks like she’s doing fine though. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with emailing the other parents. It seems to have worked.

Like you, it took me a while to figure out who I am and I hope that I’ve passed on that kind of security to my kids. It sounds like yours is on the right track!