This week Big Girl started taking finals. She goes in for two hours and comes home. Yesterday, she was home by 10:30. I had planned to work in the morning and take off midday to do something fun with her. We decided to go for a walk in the preserve.
Lazily chatting and ambling along, over time Big Girl shared some stories that made me very upset. Girls — who I know — who teased her. A boy — one with severe food allergies who, you’d think, knows what it feels like to be picked on– came over to her on a dare and asked her for half her sandwich as his friends stood by laughing. I was so angry and hurt for her.
My first mamma bear instinct was to spew hateful comments about those kids, but after thinking about it a moment, I took a deep breath and gave her better advice. “Those are not your people. One day you will find your people — if you haven’t already.”
I explained that everyone has their “people,” those who are like them in spirit and thought. It usually takes some time to find your people, but when you do it’s amazing. Not all of the people you call your friends will be your people. Family can be your people. Friends. Teachers. Some may be much older than you. Some may be younger. Some may be female; some may be male. You may have one or many, but they are out there and you will find them. Your people.
I used examples from my own life. You could be “friends” with someone, for instance, but know all along that they are not your people and never will be. You can think certain friends are your people, but find out some day that they are not. However, when you do find your people, you need to treasure them. Those are the ones who will carry you through, fight for you and love you — in thick and thin.
Those girls who were being mean, I said, don’t matter. Ignore them. Forget them. Feel sorry for them. They haven’t found their people, either. If they had they wouldn’t be making fun of kids. They wouldn’t have to feed their egos by hurting others. They wouldn’t be so angry and closed off. They wouldn’t act the way they do. And then I put my arm around her and told her to look around and enjoy. She told me then that they didn’t bother her, those girls, and we started talking about something else.
My big girl has met a lot of new people this year, her first in middle school. She also has many friends from elementary school. I wonder if any of them are her people. I hope they are. Have you met your people yet?