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My Kid Can Ride a Bike

Mar 11th, 2010 by kb

Yesterday I decided to take the 20 minutes between when the big girl got off the bus and when the sitter came to try the whole bike riding thing again. Katelyn was thrilled. “No screaming,” she promised. We started down the street. She was shaky, but doing much better than she did the day before. And we ran and rode. Once down the street. Once up the street. I let go. She stayed up for five seconds. She started toppling. I put my hands back on her sides. I let go again. This time for ten seconds. She started jerking the wheel. I put my hands back on her sides again easing her straight. We went up and down the block seven or eight times. And then she said it. “Mommy, I can ride my bike. Don’t hold on.” And, once I got her started, I listened to her.

Two second later there she was. My little girl riding her bike. Alone. I felt so proud. So amazed. In my mind I heard a link breaking. One of the ones connecting her to what I once thought was an unbreakable chain. You know, the chain that keeps her close by my side.

She grew up a little today. She took one more step towards independence. I am so awed by this process. And so very blessed to be along for the ride.

And since I’m writing: What is it that makes everyone who passes in the car break out in a huge smile when they see a kid learning how to ride a bike. All those smiles, all that positive energy. I’m thinking it’s either they are remembering what it was like to learn how to ride. Or maybe they are remembering teaching their own kids. Whatever. All those smiles become part of what is a truly beautiful memory.

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Posted in Emotional development, Play, parenting | 2 Comments »

My Kid is Louder Than Your Kid

Mar 10th, 2010 by kb

Katelyn is a screamer. When I do her hair in the morning. When she bumps herself. When I am trying to teach her how to ride a bike. She screams. A lot. I am not a screamer. My husband isn’t, either. (Note to husband: I never said I wasn’t a nag, though, Chris.) It’s very, very draining, and I simply don’t know what to do about it.

Take the bike riding: I’m out there getting ready to teach and she screams when she can’t get on the bike. She screams when she gets on and the bike falls. She screams when the helmet isn’t positioned right. Once we’re off and riding (and running behind the bike) she screams when a neighbor sees her and cheers her on, “Go, Katelyn!” Crumpling in tears, the kid tells me that she doesn’t want anyone to see her trying to ride. That she doesn’t like it when the nice lady (nice is my word) tells her, “Go, Katelyn.” Then she screams when I attempt to let go and let her ride. I stay calm. I try another tactic, telling her there will be no more yelling or we have to stop. I try and build up her confidence. Eventually, by the end of the lesson, the screaming had subsided. Then we went in the house and she bumped her toe. She screamed like someone had shot her with an arrow.

This morning we had screaming when she couldn’t pick an outfit. She missed the bus because my husband, fed up with the screaming, told her she wasn’t going to school. She had screamed too much and would suffer the consequences. He even called the bus driver and told her not to come.

She’s at school, of course. He drove her over at 9 a.m. I am drained for the day and it’s only 9:44 a.m. I have no idea how to get her to stop screaming. We listen to her. We talk to her. We reason with her. She gets plenty of love, affection, attention, and care. And still she screams. The girl who cried wolf comes to mind. As does the fact that my mother often told me that if I continued to cry over nothing eventually no one would believe my cries anymore. Great. Wonderful. My mother’s prediction — some day I would have a child who would drive me as crazy as I drove her — came true.

We’re going to go to the library tonight, I think. We’ll be taking out that old fable and reading it. Several times, perhaps. And then we will set up a behavior chart to try and curb this noise. Can you tell I’m trying so hard to be positive and proactive? What other choice do I have? Thank goodness the little one could fall off a bed or walk into a wall — yes, she’s done both — and barely give a sniffle. I don’t think I could stand the yelling in stereo.

Do you have a screamer? What’s your kids most annoying habit? How do you deal with it?

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Posted in Emotional development, parenting | 2 Comments »

Toddlers on a Diet? Maybe…

Mar 9th, 2010 by kb

When my daughter was about 15-months-old I took her in for a well-check. “Whoa, she’s gained a lot this month,” my doctor told me. “What is she eating?” My answer was sort of complicated. Katelyn was a hungry kid and a good eater. This was a good thing, I thought, which is why I was letting her eat as much cereal as she wanted in the morning. I’d give her one bowl. She’d finish it and ask for another. And another. As much as she wanted was sometimes three bowls of Joe’s Os. Plus fruit and yogurt. I never thought twice about how much she was eating until I said it out loud.

My doctor admonished me, telling me toddlers were sometimes like puppies. They would keep eating for the sheer fun of eating. “Cut her down to one bowl. That’s all she needs,” my doctor said. She said she didn’t want Katelyn, who from birth had always been 95th percentile for height and 50th for weight, to end up at 95th percentile for both height and weight. (That month she had crept up to 75th percentile for weight.) I listened to my doctor’s advice and watched Katelyn’s weight level out at her next check up.

When I told some of my friends they questioned my doctor’s advice. Cutting back her breakfast was tantamount to putting her on a diet, they said. If she was hungry she obviously needed the calories. I thought about it some more and decided my doctor was right. A 15-month-old should not be eating three bowls of dry cereal in the morning. Heck, a 15-year-old shouldn’t be doing that, either. Turns out my doctor may have helped us dodge the obesity bullet.

Harvard University researchers this month published a study that says that risks for obesity may start while a child is in the womb, which is why obesity prevention should probably start then, too.

According to research, moms who gained more than the recommended amount while pregnant had kids who — at age seven — were 48 percent more likely than their peers to be overweight. This varies depending on how much a woman weighs before she gets pregnant, but it’s typically between 15 and 35 pounds, according to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Whether or not they got gestational diabetes also impacts childhood obesity.

Here’s where my doctor helped me out: Researchers found that babies who gain a lot of weight during their first few years and are disproportionate — they might be in the 25th percentile for height but the 75th for weight — often end up being overweight as children. Starting solids before four-months-old, and not sleeping enough were two other obesity risk factors that were identified, too. (We didn’t have these problems since Katelyn had the thrust reflex until six or seven months old, and she’s always been a phenomenal sleeper unlike her mom, thank goodness.)

Today Katelyn is still on that 95/50 percentile ratio. Her sister is, too. I won’t stop them from having an occasional second bowl of cereal if they want it, but Katelyn especially very rarely wants it. Every once in a while she’s ravenous in the morning, but most days she’ll rush out the door after eating her cereal telling me she’s full. (Usually as I am trying to get her to eat a little yogurt, too.) I think it’s because she’s in the habit of eating about the same amount every day. So thank you, Doctor, for letting me know I was making a mistake. Thank you for not being afraid to tell me the truth. One day Katelyn will appreciate it.

What do you think about limiting what kids eat? How about solid foods? Is there such a thing as giving kids food too early? Let’s hear it.

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Posted in Eating Healthy, Food, Health, Illness, Preventative medicine | 1 Comment »

Favorite Things Friday: Teeth, Feet, and Back

Mar 5th, 2010 by kb

I’m starting to think about Keira’s second birthday. It’s only three-and-a-half months away. I need to figure out what kind of party I am having — if anything — get invitations, figure out favors, decide on the guest list (do I invite her friends’ older siblings), and pick a date and time. I am probably the biggest bah-humbug, but the whole process is just overwhelming. I used to love it, but the amount of waste that goes into a kid party — the wrapping paper, the gifts, the invitations, the postal process — is just staggering. Do I let her get gifts, or do a charity birthday like I did with her sister last year? Do I have a small house playdate or book something at a place? What to do, what to do.

Anyway, it’s Friday, and this week’s Friday Favorites has nothing to do with the above thinking-out-loud, but it was on my mind. Figured I’d ask everyone what you did for your child’s second birthday. Keep in mind that Katelyn had a giant second birthday party complete with a gorgeous dress, tiara, and about 25 of her closest friends. And now on to the things I really liked this week. A lot of these things are stuff I came across in my journalist life. I’m getting some really interesting press releases these days. The blog has made it into a few databases, which makes my life easier. Please note: I did not get any freebies. I have to buy everything I like below — and probably will be. Just wanted to provide full disclosure. I just liked ‘em, so I am writing about them.

This cool t-shirt. Again, no, I didn’t get a free one. I’m just writing about it because it’s cute. I’m not really a slogan kinda gal. My clothing is writing-free, but this t-shirt, which makes GREEN into an anagram is just really cute. A little expensive for my taste, but cute, so I thought I would write about it.

A green toothbrush. I brush twice a day like the rest of the world. I have switched over to a eco-minded toothpaste — finally — but I was still brushing with the same plastic-going-to-end-up-in-a-landfill toothbrush that I always used. Then I found Radius and its eco-friendly toothbrushes. Cellulose (made from wood pulp) handle. Nylon bristles. Cool design. The fact that you pick whether you want a lefty brush or a righty brush sealed the deal for me. (Yes, the entire family falls into the lefty category.)

Shoes for my pedis. I get pedicures. I got a really nice spa package for my birthday this year that entitles me to one every other month. Anyway, I usually drag a set of red flip-flops with me. They are big and annoying and dirty, so when I saw these foldable flip-flops that are also made of 90 percent recycled materials I was intrigued. And at $15 they don’t break the bank. Seems like a nice addition to my manicure kit. (I bring all my own supplies including eco-based top and base coat as well as files, cuticle nippers, and a pumice stone. Too freaked out about germs to do anything else.)

Non-plastic wrap wrapping. We have no plastic wrap in my kitchen. At all. Or plastic bags for that matter. Drives the husband crazy. I tend to put stuff in the covered Corningware I have or in a Pyrex bowl that also comes with a cover. When those are in use I put a glass plate over a regular bowl to keep food fresh. Works, but not the safest option. Which is why I will be ordering CoverMate Food Covers this weekend. These are reusable, washable hair-net-looking things that stretch over plates, bowls, and other food serving dishes. The nice part is that the ones I will be ordering are sort of free, too. The company’s PR woman sent me a nice offer for my readers, and you know I am getting in on it. CoverMate is currently running a special promotion. Pay $3.95 shipping and handling and you get a sample pack of all four CoverMate sizes along with a $1.00 off retail coupon in case you want to buy more. They are BPA-free, dishwasher-safe, and reusable. I plan on getting one set and hand-washing them so they last for a long time. I will still use my Pyrex and Corningware first since CoverMates are plastic, but they will be nice to have when everything is in use.

Have a great weekend, everyone. I’ve already written Monday’s post — a story about toddlers and dieting. Also, Tuesday should be about food allergies. And don’t forget about the Celestial Seasonings give-away. Check out Tuesday’s post and then scroll down a bit to enter to win a nice, big basket o’ tea. Finally, see that little brown button to your right? A little ways up the page? The one that says Top Mommy Blogs? Can you click on it? I need to move up in the rankings a bit. I’d like to be closer to 100. Right now I am close to 200. You can click once a day, which I did not know!

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Posted in Consumer Packaged Goods, Cool sites, Dental care, Environment | No Comments »

Wordless Wednesday: Why I Can’t Do It

Mar 4th, 2010 by kb

If you read other blogs, you’re probably familiar with the concept of Wordless Wednesday. People post a single, thought-provoking photo and nothing else. I’ve thought about trying it, but I can’t. I always want to tell you something about what I’ve posted. It’s the writer in me. What if I posted something and you didn’t know what it was? What if I posted something and you didn’t realize the importance of the photo? What if I posted something and you did realize that taking photos isn’t my strong suit?

Okay, maybe it’s not the writer in me. Maybe it’s the part of me that likes to be liked that prevents me from doing a Wordless Wednesday. After all, photos are extremely subjective. They are what they are, but not really. You can infer a lot from a photo. You tend to blend your own experiences with what you’re looking at to create your opinion.

For example, I was going to post a photo of me feeding Katelyn a bottle. The breastfeeders in the audience might immediately form a negative opinion. That baby is only two-months-old, you might think. Why isn’t she nursing? The dads might be bored. Nothing interesting here. The people without kids might click immediately away. Those who are dealing with infertility might also click away, but for a different reason. And those who know me well might feel like they wasted their time, too. They’ve seen that photo already. Probably five years ago, actually. Who cares?

I guess the interesting part of my fear of Wordless Wednesday is that it proves without a doubt that I am someone who needs to be liked. Yes, I’ve talked about it before on this blog. Nothing new here, either. But maybe what is new is the fact that you now all see how the inner workings of my mind go. Maybe you didn’t realize just how deep the fear goes. Now those of you who are my friends understand why I sometimes have difficulty hanging out with you alone. I am still so insecure that I feel I might be boring or say the wrong thing. It’s also why I work so hard. I can’t be a regular writer. I have to be Super Writer, with as many assignments as physically possible. For those who don’t know me as well: It’s why I always say I will help, even if I don’t have the bandwidth. (And in my defense, I am much, much, MUCH better at saying nothing so I don’t disappoint.) It’s why I will go out of my way to do an online radio show even though I have two back-to-back interviews immediately following and my daughter’s Daisy troop meeting, which I am running myself, immediately before. It’s why I make sure I am tweeting a lot. (People tend to unfollow when you’re silent for a while. An unfollow is a tangible reminder that someone doesn’t like you anymore.)

Okay, so here’s the deal. This week I am going to take a new photo. Something that means something to me and me alone. And I am going to post it next Wednesday. An online therapy of sorts. Get ready, readers. I’m starting to break out of my shell!

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Posted in Emotional development | No Comments »

Have a Cold? Try a Little Milk, Tea, Partying

Mar 3rd, 2010 by kb

I almost hate saying it, but I am surprised I am not hacking up a lung. Usually when I go away — and definitely after spending an afternoon in a kids’ ER — I get a cold. It’s been 48 hours now, and I am sniffle-free, but we’ll see what the week brings. I thought I’d post a few research-based facts about the common cold as well as a neat give-away opportunity to help those dealing with a cold feel better. It’s been a weird week in terms of posting. Sorry about that. Lots on my mind, most of it too involved to post about. Hope you enjoy these prevention tips. I’ll hopefully be back to my usual self in a day or two. And now…how do you prevent the cold? Why don’t you…

Get with a group. Having friends is fun, but it can also help you stave off the common cold, according to a study published in Scientific American Mind. When you spend time with good friends your immune system gets a boost, a good excuse to go out for a drink or spend a little time gabbing, no?

Wash your hands. Almost seems stupid to call this one out, but boatloads of researchers agree: Washing your hands is one of the best ways to prevent illness. Make it a habit to wash your hands as soon as you come home, and wash after shaking hands or before touching your eyes, nose, or mouth.

Eat your veggies. Lots of them. A summer 2009 study found that pregnant women who ate at least seven servings of fruits and vegetables daily seemed to moderately reduce their risk of catching an upper respiratory tract infection (better known as a cold).

Drink your milk. Milk is one of the best sources of vitamin D. A February 2009 study found that those people who were deficient in this vitamin were 40 percent more likely to report being recently sick. “People with the lowest blood vitamin D levels reported having significantly more recent colds or cases of the flu,” according to the study. While more work needs to be done to make a direct correlation between vitamin D and wellness, getting your recommended daily allowance of the stuff certainly can’t hurt, right? Here’s a good chart to see how much you need every day. (Scroll down a bit to Table 2.)

Do you have a cold? If so, drinking tea — but not too hot since it can increase the risk of throat cancer — can help you feel better. Tea — green tea in particular — contains antioxidants, seems to reduce the risk of diabetes, improves bone health, helps reduce the risk of periodontal disease, and just plain feels good.

Want to win a big basket of Celestial Seasonings teas? Please leave me a comment telling me what symptoms you usually get with a cold along with your name and email address. One reader will win the following:

  • Four wellness teas to ease symptoms associated with the cold and flu – Sleepytime Extra, Echinacea Complete Care, Tummy Mint.
  • Two green teas to support a healthy immune system year round – Authentic Green Tea and Honey Lemon Ginseng Green Tea
  • A mug, soothing lip balm, honey sticks and Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Bear
  • The book “Herbs for Health and Happiness” by Mo Siegel and Nancy Burke

This gift is coming to one of my readers courtesy of Celestial Seasonings — I am not being paid for this. It was just a cool offer so I thought I’d pass it along.

So…tell me about your worst cold. What was it like? How do you usually deal with a cold? How do you avoid them? FYI about the giveaway:
Contest ends at noon pacific time on 3/17/10. Winner will be determined by random.org. Winner will be notified by email and has 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be drawn.

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Posted in Eating Healthy, Food, Friendship, Health, Illness, Preventative medicine | 5 Comments »

Making the Right Choice

Mar 1st, 2010 by kb

The mean sheep that butted Keira. And Keira.

We all make choices for our kids. We try and make the right ones. Sometimes the choices work out okay. Sometimes they suck. I am just back from the emergency room because of a few choices I made. I am sad and upset.

We went away to Woodloch Pines this past weekend. We had been looking forward to it for a while. A vacation with some of our closest friends and their kids. We almost didn’t make it because of a huge snowstorm, but we finally got up there. We had a nice weekend until the last hours of the last day. There was a petting zoo. Keira, who is animal-crazy, got to ride a pony, see some cute bunnies, and pet a goat. With horns. She was just standing there when the goat head-butted her in the cheek. She instantly started crying. Keira has my tolerance for pain. The kid can take tumbles that would make even the most stoic kid cry and she doesn’t say a word, so the fact that she was crying made me realize how bad it must have been. The goat got her cheek, thank goodness, instead of her eye. He hit her hard enough to make a small scrape. Tiny, tiny, tiny. Woodloch’s EMT checked her out. She checked her for signs of a concussion. Then she washed the area on her cheek, put antibiotic cream on it, and bandaged her up. Keira instantly went back to her usual cheery self.

When we got home, however, Keira refused to go to sleep. She kept crying and screaming. We must have gone in about a dozen times between 8 and 11 p.m. I got nervous thinking “head injury” and called my pediatrician. She called me right back. She wasn’t worried about the not sleeping thing. She was probably just upset to be in her crib and alone when she had been in a pack-and-play with Katelyn in the bed to her right and Mommy and Daddy in the bed to her left. She was, however, worried about tetanus. Keira hasn’t had that shot. She was going to call me back, she said, after consulting with an infectious disease specialist. She did. She had some bad news. Keira would need a shot of tetanus antibodies — human antibodies to the disease. One of the main causes of tetanus is animal feces. The sheep, no doubt, had been rubbing his head in the dirt, which probably contained a little animal poop.

So today we spent five hours in the pediatric E.R. trying to figure out if we would go with medical advice or go with our guts, which said it was overkill. We felt pretty good after the attending physician said she thought it was over kill. But then she spoke to that same infectious diseases guy who said that we were both wrong. She needed that injection, and she needed it quickly.

We had to decide so I asked a lot of questions. I even got the drug insert that came with the injectible. I read it several times. (“This contains no preservatives.”) My husband read it. We agonized over the decision. In the end she got the prescribed treatment. She didn’t say a peep when they gave her the shot in her upper arm. She was actually jazzed that she got a bandage. And now we’re home.

I question three of my decisions after this happened. First, my vaccination stance. Second, the bright idea to take her to see the animals. And third, the decision to give her the antibodies shot. I don’t know if I made all the right choices. I only know I made the choices that I did based on the information I had at my disposal. I do know that we will be avoiding petting zoos from now on. Stupid sheep.

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Posted in Health, Illness, Safety, Toxins, Vaccines | 2 Comments »

American Idol and the “Nice” Factor

Feb 25th, 2010 by kb

Please excuse the temporary interruption of my usual green and crunchy blog with this pop culture missive. It’s what I wanted to write tonight, so I am being, as Simon likes to say, self-indulgent.

I’m having a problem with American Idol. To begin with let me say that we never really got into American Idol until recently. We were weird, I guess. My husband and I resisted it forever. We used to laugh at other people who watched it. How could someone care about a television show so much that they would dedicate two or three whole nights of TV to it? (Overlooking the fact that we were instantly hooked by So You Think You Can Dance, which is another two-night show.) And then somehow during season seven we accidentally watched one episode. We cautiously liked it, too. Today we are converts, I guess. Not rabid fans. Casual fans since — I must admit — we are liberal with the TiVo remote. We watch two hours in about 35 minutes. Tonight’s 35 minutes were pretty bad from a singing perspective, but I’m not writing about that debacle. Instead, I’m writing about the bigger problem: What’s going on behind the host table.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me give you more background. The first season we watched the show it was great. We liked the stage. We liked the contestants. David Cook! Syesha Mercado! That stoned-looking guy Jason. (Must admit I was never a David Archuleta fan.) We liked Paula, and how sweet she was. We liked Simon and Randy, too. Great chemistry. Season 8 was weird with Kara being added in. I can imagine how hard it must have been for long-time viewers to accept her since we’re still getting used to it, and we only watched the show for a single season before her arrival. Still, it was okay. But then all hell broke loose and Paula was out and Ellen DeGeneres was in.

And there’s where it started: Swapping Paula for Ellen. I understand why the producers did it that way. Ellen is the Queen of Nice. They needed a queen to take over for the Princess of Sweetness and Light. But while the queen is really nice, you can absolutely tell she’s just being nice because that’s supposed to be her role on the show. She’s there to temper all of Simon’s honest and usually spot-on comments. She’s the professional fluffer of sorts. Just the fact that Ryan went back to her for a comment after almost every one of Simon’s especially brutal comments during the first live shows proves this. But — and here’s my problem — she doesn’t really mean all of what she’s saying. You can tell.

Paula, on the other hand, meant every wacky comment, every “I just loved it,” every raised hands sway. She really did. Maybe she was stoned. Maybe she was drunk. Maybe she was high. Or maybe she’s one of those people who can truly see something good in everyone she meets. But she did. She meant it. So to have to go from that to Ellen, with her striking blue eyes and fake-sincere expressions — nah, I don’t like it at all. It will only get worse next year when Simon leaves and the panel is down to one original judge. (Who I happen to really like, but still…) And so I say this, American Idol: It was nice meeting you. Sure, we’ll stay for a while more but when this season is over, we’re probably out of here. Unless they bring Paula back. Maybe.

Do you watch Idol? Do you agree? Will you keep watching next season? Let’s hear it.

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Posted in Pop Culture | 3 Comments »

Energy Works: Getting Smudged to Get Clean

Feb 24th, 2010 by kb

We’ve had some wacky stuff going on over here for about six months now. My husband’s health issue is the most pressing, of course, but there are other little annoyances, too. The capper came on Monday when I found out about something disturbing going on with a professional group I belong to. There was just too much bad energy and bad air in the house, so I decided to do something about it. (Note: I know this sounds crazy, and will probably move me from crunchy-granola into the wacko hippie category.) I needed to smudge the house with sage, an herb that has been known to clear bad energy.

Smudging is a process of burning sage, walking from room to room while either praying or offering up intentions of clearing negative or stagnant energy from a home. You can also smudge a person, gathering the smoke around their body, and moving it from chakra to chakra — the body’s seven major energy centers. I discovered the technique while writing a story for The New York Times. Covering that story — Indian Ritual Taken to a Wider Audience — was my first introduction to the idea of energy work. Sure, growing up Italian, I was well aware of spirits. My grandmother used to talk about the Malocchio, or Evil Eye, that could curse someone so bad luck would befall them. But there was never any discussion about personal energy. I never even thought about the existence of energy. Not until, as a reporter on that story, I actually got to participate in the sweat lodge. It was life-changing. I will freely admit I was terrified in that lodge. It was hot, but, in retrospect, probably about as hot as the rooms where I’ve taken Bikram yoga. It was dark, but not completely. It was jarring to listen to. But it was also incredibly unifying. You could feel the energy of the collective group. It was electric. It made me aware of what is inside every one of us.

Very soon after, I got my first taste of real energy work when my friend Annmarie performed Reiki on me. (You know, the Reiki that Dr. Oz discussed on his program a few weeks ago?) Reiki works under the premise that, in addition to blood, we have energy that moves throughout our bodies through channels. When energy gets stuck or stagnant, our bodies and minds suffer. Reiki practitioners bring energy from the universe through the top of their heads and out of their hands, transferring it to whomever needs it. I’ve had Reiki given to me. As a Reiki practitioner, I’ve given Reiki to many people. As a journalist, however, it took me a while to believe in it. I was originally highly skeptical. I still am, actually. Every time I give it or get it I go into the process thinking, “Wow, this is a bunch of bunk.” Then I feel the energy and it blows me away. Every time. And I believe again.

So back to smudging. If energy is neither created or lost, it makes sense that there is energy inside our home. We live here. We expend energy. We shape its character with the way we interact with our surroundings. I could absolutely see how energy could stagnate and turn negative. So on Monday night, as I have in the past, I lit a bundle of sage (purchased at Whole Foods), and started the process to make it positive again. I started in the kitchen and made my way around the house. I paused in every corner. I moved into the middle of every room making circular movements with the smoke. I spent extra time in my office, smudging my computer, my keyboard, my phone. And yesterday — Tuesday — was a really good day.

Of course, now my house smells like sage, which sort of smells like a Pink Floyd concert. But it’s worth it. Definitely worth it. Could it be a mind-over-matter thing? Sure. Maybe. Could my outlook be more positive so I am able to focus more on the positive things in my life? Maybe? But could this energy stuff, as Dr. Oz so eloquently pointed out, have some true merit? I’d like to think so. I’ll let you know how the rest of the week turns out.

Have you ever heard of energy work? What do you think? Do we have energy, and can we control it? I’d like to hear your thoughts.

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Posted in Going Green, Meditation, New York Times, energy | 1 Comment »

Technology Killed the Telephone Star

Feb 23rd, 2010 by kb

I used to be a phone person. The type of friend who would spend hours chatting about everything and nothing. Conversations could go on for hours, and often did. Then something happened. I got used to speaking to friends via email. I could send out messages in between doing other things and wait for the responses to roll back. Around the same time came instant messaging. Then texts. I could communicate quickly and succinctly. Facebook was the next conversation replacement. It became so much easier to leave a sentence or two on someone’s wall or — if I had a lot to say — send them a private message than it was to pick up the phone. And don’t forget about Twitter. Who needs more than 140 characters anyway?

Tonight, however, it struck me how disconnected I feel having all this technology at my fingertips. (And I say this as a person who makes my living writing about technology and other subjects using technology.) Emails don’t have a cadence and a tone. You can’t hear what they person is leaving off the page — the important stuff. You can’t read between the lines. And it makes it really easy to hide if you’re feeling bad. Add a few exclamation points and a smiley or two and no one knows you’re wallowing.

Facebook is Facebook. Great for looking at people’s photos and hearing about their latest diet success/job gripe/cute kid story, but terrible when it comes to being able to hear how someone is getting on in life. (Yes, there are serial sharers out there, but the majority of people keep it light.) And Twitter. Ahh, Twitter. Despite the fact that I’ve seen plenty of amazing sharing and interaction, you’re never going to learn about someone’s inner dreams and heartaches from a quick sentence and a link to another blog. Oh, yes, and I forgot the blogging thing. Sure, you’re reading this, but unless you’re writing a really long comment, I don’t really know how you’re feeling, do I? Blogging is just a long form email making everyone one of us who writes an exhibitionist and those of us who read voyeurs.

Of course, it’s not all technology’s fault. Many of my long nights on the phone were facilitated by the fact that none of us had any kids back then. Plus, everyone in my social circle seemed to stay up all night just like I do. Now people get up by 6:30, and we’re all too tired to chat on the phone from 11 p.m. until 1 a.m. We’re all lazy, too. What’s easier? Watching Survivor or talking about why I want to be numbed by Survivor?

I do blame technology for letting lazy translate as connected. My friends might actually call me on my lack of response if they didn’t get an email or post from me. But they do, and because so many of us think of email and social media as the equivalent of personal contact it’s easy to get social points for a quick text-based check-in.

This is why, starting now, I am going to make a huge effort to reach out and touch everyone the old fashioned way. Editors, friends, family members, acquaintances: You’re all forewarned. I’m going to put you back on speed dial. But don’t worry, thank goodnesss there’s always voice mail if you’re too busy to talk.

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Posted in Emotional development, Friendship | No Comments »

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